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Kathy Hamilton 253 277 1238
Kathy Hamilton simikathy2@yahoo.com 253 277 1238
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
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EMPOWER YOUR FAMILY FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ STOP THE RICKS IN THE WORLD 2007-06-12 @ 03:16:04 PM
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DADDY????BY MOLLY(KATHY'S Daughter Hello World, This is telling you thru the eyes of a 14 year old girl. MollY
MY NAME USE TO BE KATHY MARTIN STOP THE RICKS IN THE WORLD “Daddy?” By: Molly I remember some days I would glare at the clock trying, hoping I could stop time some how. One minute closer to school ending was one minute closer to maybe my last. It was that bad. I never called my dad, father. because face it any real father wouldn’t hurt his child. When I hear his name,all I can think of is those painful, horrific 13 years. Many people don’t know what a simple girl like me has been through. Pain, tears, screams, and heartbreak is just a few of the emotions I was forced to deal with as just a small child. Every day I would wake up and look in the mirror and facing back at me was pure depression. I remember wiping tears off my plump, red face as I woke up praying that he would be gone. He wasn’t. He never was. The more I type this essay the more feelings and emotion flow back into my mind. I can remember sirens most of all. Police sirens taunting us making us feel that maybe there was some security for us, some hope, but there never was. He’d be put away and always find his way back, but only stronger, scarier, harder. It was never ending pain, abuse, and frowns. Nothing it seemed like, nothing could stop him from beating us harder and worse. Some people now know me as that happy, talkative girl who loves to shop. No one could ever just look at me and know the depression and pain I had once been through. Now that I think about what most kids like me have had happened, I got lucky. I’m simply stuck with a minor back problem from being beaten so much as a child and a few THOUSAND painful memories. Many people through the years suffer still today what I had suffered and they’re the only ones who will really understand the agony I faced. As a child I couldn’t do anything I was completely helpless. If it wasn’t for a guardian angel by God to protect me I would’ve never made it out, that guardian angel is my mother. We finally had security. We finally broke free. He was finally gone. Then again, he will never be gone because still today my nightmares contain old memories of sirens, crying, pain, and my dad, you do the math. It’s funny how the most horrible experiences are what makes you stronger and affects you the most. I would never be the same Molly I am today if my dad hadn’t made me suffer the way I did. That Molly I am today is strong, kind, happy, and grateful for even the littlest thing she gets. That Molly is all thanks to the thirteen years of abuse from my dad and the thirteen years of my own rock bottom. Tags: beaten, fear, heartachemisery, pain, depression | Edit Tags Thursday March 8, 2007 - 06:38pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 CommentsEntry for March 08, 2007 Hello World, My Daughter is telling her story she wants everyone to listen to her and learn.Never ever hurt your loved ones.It hurts in every way.
ok this is from emily she is 16 years old. "Why does this have to happen to me?" I whisper to myself as I'm curled up into a corner on top of my bed. Smeared make-up burns my cheeks as the black eyeliner and mascara trickles down slowly making its way to my pillows and blankets. " I don't think I can take much more of this. I can't stand to live here anymore. It's just getting too bad." " God, please help me? Just help me get out of here, make my life better. I will do anything if you help me god, ANYTHING." I say this looking up at the ceiling only hoping that god is listening, hoping that god will answer my prayers, and that god will listen to me. All I hear in the background is my dad yelling. "You are worthless, you are ugly and fat, I hope you die you fucking slut." those words jumble in my head as I think about what just happened. There's nothing much that I can do except lay in my bed and cry. I hear, my dad yelling at my mom and the sound of my moms painful screams as he throws punch after punch at her. I sit here and cry and only hope she will be ok when he gets done with her. I'm not strong enough to fight against him, he will hurt me worse then I could possibly imagine, but I can't stand to sit here and let him hurt my mom like that, what am I suppose to do? Thousands of things race through my head at once, flash back after flask back, ideas, memories, pictures, people, everything. The phone startles me as I hear my favorite ring tone, Summer Nights by Lil Rob, and I look over at the caller id and its my best friend, Jessica, an instant smile emerges from my teary face. Jessica has always been my best friend. We have been best friends since before I could possibly remember, she's the one PAGE 2 person that has always made me happy. I answer the phone and she immediately responds with " HEY LOVE! How are you?" She knows something is wrong when I didn't say a word and she could hear me crying in the background. "Emily, what happened? Talk to me. You're scaring me." My eyes overflow with tears and just pour out, it's something I can't control but I don't want to worry Jessica. " I'm coming right now Emily, everything's going to be ok, I love you" replies Jessica. I lay on my bed squeezing my teddy bear that Jessica got me for Christmas as I think about how grateful I am to have such an amazing best friend like her to help me get through these rough times in my life. She's more like a sister to me. She has always been there for me, through thick and through thin; I can always count on her. Jessica lives down the street approximately 5 minutes away. Over all the yelling at my mom from him I hear the doorbell ring. I'm worried about how he will react to Jessica coming over. I peek out my bedroom door and just briefly get a glimpse of Jessica at the door. "What do you want?!" says him "I would like to talk with Emily real fast." "Well she is not available right now, so you can't see her. Come back later maybe." "Well its really important sir, my mom needs me to ask her something." "What do you need to ask her? I will pass it on to her." " Well see sir, its kind of private." " NOTHING is private in my house. LEAVE THIS INSTANT!" he yells as loud as he can. I burst into tears at this point. "Why does he have to make my life like this? Why is he such a horrible person? Why did this have to happen to me? WHY ME?!" I learned to try not to disobey him or I will get beat and that's one thing I can't take. I can't take him beating me and calling me bad names and the cursing. It kills me inside. I hear my phone ring again and I answer it and it was Jessica. "Emily, tell me what happened NOW!" PAGE 3 "Well he was really drunk and he came in my room to talk to me. Then he started talking nasty to me telling me how I'm a foxy girl and how I have great boobs and legs and that is when my mom comes in and she yells at him to get out. He says to my mom, "You're lucky I haven't raped her yet." My mom was furious and flipped out on him for saying that about me. Then he started beating her. I watched him beat my mom. I watched her suffer and I know there wasn't anything that I can do about it. All I hear is his loud voice yelling and cursing and I can't take it anymore Jessica, I just can't do it." Jessica lost her breath. She was so shocked about what I just told her. " I wish there was something I can do to help Emily." Replies Jess. " I'm going to ask my mom if you can stay with me for awhile. Everything will be ok babe, don't worry about it, I promise." Says Jessica. As she left I was getting ready to go to bed. I tucked my sheets and blankets around me and moved around until I found this cozy warm spot on my bed. I start to fall into this deep sleep. Thousands of things are rushing through my head at once; Chris, my horrible dad mom, my past, Jessica, all my friends, a better life. I try to fall asleep listening to his drunken ass yell for no reason. As he yells I start to have flash back of my past. I remember his loud voice, him always telling me I'm worthless and nothing, I remember him beating me and smiling. Remembering all the bad memories that I have of him, such as how he made me half-deaf from him yelling so much around me while I was a baby. He's part of the reason I have such low self -esteem. He's the reason I never got close to a father like figure. I awoke screaming and crying. I was happy that my mother got rid of him.. It was hard for me to call anyone " dad" for that exact reason. We needed to escape and have a better life then this. My mom walks into my room and the crackling of the door opening slowly startles me. She asks me if I'm ok and I tell her that I'm just concerned about her right now. She tells me her plan for moving. She wants to get away, make our life better. She doesn't like how are life is now. We be able to live happily and we aren't happy here. PAGE 4 "Where will we go mom?" "Em, I don't believe I can answer that right now, not even I know." "Mom, I know as well as you do that we can't make it on our own. How are we going to do it?" "We will figure out a way, we always seem to manage and you know that." "I love you mom…" "I love you Emmy. I'm trying to make this better for us. You shouldn't have to live like this, I'm sorry for putting you through all of this." "It's ok… I know you only wanted the best for us." "I tried, I didn't mean my life to turn out like this." "I want to move as far away from him as possible. We need to start our lives over. This will be better for us honey, you and I both know that. This is what we have been waiting for." "I hope you are right mom… I don't know how much more of this I can take." "Plan for us to be gone by Tuesday, which leaves you with 3 days to get everything packed and have your good-byes said to everyone." "Are we really doing this?" "Yes… finally… we're breaking free." All I can do is break down and cry at this point. I don't know what to say to what my mom just told me. She wraps her arms around me to comfort me. I am crying for everything I'm leaving. How am I suppose to leave to a whole new state in the middle of my sophomore year, how am I suppose to leave Jessica?" It kills me inside at the fact that I have to leave my best friend, the one person that has been there for me ALWAYS and FOREVER. I had to tell her since I would be leaving in less then three days… I just didn't know how I was going to tell her. How was I going to do this without breaking down? I don't think I can leave her not even if my life is this bad. I would go through anything to be with her. I couldn't imagine my life without her. The next morning I go to school, it was the normal routine, wake up, shower, eat, do my PAGE 5 hair, do my make up and walk to school. The only thing different today was I was extremely sad and everyone could tell. All I heard all day was " What's wrong Emily?" I didn't want to talk to anyone; I couldn't find the courage to tell people about what's happening. Jessica had to be the first person I told… and I'm going to make sure of that. Jess comes up to me while I'm at my locker first thing in the morning, she gives me her normal hug but she can tell something was bugging me so I had to tell her what was wrong. "Jessica, my mom just told me we are moving Tuesday…" I reply. Tears start to ball up in my eyes and I can't keep them in. "Are you serious?" " You must be joking " Jess replied. "My mom wants to start over, have a better life, she wants to move to a different state, we don't really know where we are moving to yet but it's a for sure thing this time." "I don't know what to say…" tears start to build up in Jessica's eyes and it brings me so much pain. My last days here are spent with my friends. I had the most memorable and amazing times of my life. Probably the only times that I was actually happy. Tuesday morning comes and everything is packed and we shove the boxes into our van and leave on our way with our "new life" as my mom calls it. She decided to move to Renton in Washington . It's been a long journey for my mom and I. This trip has made us grow closer to each other then ever before. We finally got settled in and I meet this girl named Ashley. Little did I know, this girl would change my life drastically. As I slowly get to know her we become better friends and she introduces me to people that will soon become my close friends. She became my best friend and we have become inseparable. I start to love my life and even though it was a hard adjustment, it was probably the best decision my mom and I made. Someone once told me " If you have hit rock bottom, things can't get any worse, they can only get better." I will come to realize that this is the quote of my life and actually what has happened to me. My life did get better and now I never have to worry about being hit again and I don't have to live in fear anymore. Sometimes making a change is the best thing to do even though it seems like it would be hard. Now all I can do is think of my future and never have to turn back and hide. No longer will I hide from my fears, I will face them and nothing will put me down anymore. Tags: fear, disgust, hatred | Edit Tags
Jaikus from simikathy